“You are what you believe yourself to be” – Paulo Coelho
Everyone has a perception of who we are. They judge us by what they see. They create an image of us. And many times, we ourselves end up believing that illusion. But the truth is that’s not what we truly are.
We all have a sense of self. It is what we believe ourselves to be. If our sense of self is obtained due to others views it is always subjected to being lost. But if we believe ourselves to be something we truly become that. What we believe ourselves to be is important because it helps in shaping our life.
But before you believe yourself to be anything, it is very important to believe in yourself because if you don’t believe in yourself then nobody else will believe in you. And if you don’t believe in yourself you wouldn’t be able to face your life. As Christian D. Larson said –
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.”
You wake up in the morning. You see people around you happy. You join in on their happiness. You laugh, you smile, you crack jokes and make everyone laugh. Everyone around you thinks that you are the happiest person they can come across.
But then the day ends and slowly the mask falls off and everything catches up with you at once. It just isn’t what happened today, but what happened two days ago or five years ago. And suddenly you find yourself locked in the washroom, crying your eyes out silently because you don’t want anyone else to know. You cry and cry and cry wishing someone was there who understood, who would hold you right there when you’re crying.
But you see that hope is what kills you. It eats you from the inside. It is this hope which constantly bothers you throughout the day, this is what keeps you up at night, this is what hurts you over and over again, this what makes you cry every damn time.
But people don’t understand this. They don’t care to look beyond that smiling face. They just assume that you’re happy. In a world full of lies, a smile is the biggest lie. It’s powerful enough to deceive the eye.
And so for the world you end up being the girl who never stops smiling.
This is my first ever piece of public writing. Writing for me has always been a form of self expression. Being an introvert, I never indulged in long discussions with the people around me. I don’t talk about my feelings, thoughts, views or experiences. But like all human beings even I need to express. So what if I don’t talk a lot? I can write about whatever goes through my mind. That’s the whole point of this blog. I want to put forward my views and thoughts for everyone to see. I want to prove that I too have opinions about everything happening around me. Moreover, being a dreamer I see the world differently than a lot of people. Expressing my thoughts would help me understand myself better.
So why didn’t I just started writing a journal or a diary? As a matter of fact I did. But I’ve always had this vague idea that I want to be a writer. I want to become a published writer. I don’t know whether I see it as my life goal but I wanted to give it a shot to see whether I could do this or not…..
I fell in love at 13
When I didn’t know what love was. It wasn’t a relationship. It was love in its pure, unadulterated form.
But falling in love at 13 was a disadvantage. The naive me didn’t know that this was not the age.
So I went ahead and fell in love hard. Didn’t realize that there was no one to catch me when I had gotten this far.
It dragged down to the bottomless pit of despair. It shattered my heart into a million tiny pieces and made me struggle for a breath of fresh air.
I gave that love everything and it broke down the essence of me. It made me wish I wasn’t alive and changed me completely.
I fell in love at 19
Was it love or just like?
A feeling evoked by loneliness?
Or a way to go through the night?
I fell in love at 20
Was this the love I deserved? The fairy tale love I craved for? The one meant to be?
But who knows if it was meant to be? I didn’t give it a chance.
I kept those feelings locked in my heart. Didn’t even part.
At 3 in the morning, I often ask myself –
What is better – The longing, the deceiving or the suppressing?
But then I realize, the real question wasn’t even mentioned..
To Love or Not to Love that is the Real Question..
This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.